[welcome to my life] :)

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xXx~w3LcOm3 2 x|aOy|'s bLoG~xXx

hits.

13 November 2005

many thot

today is 12 of nov... today as the topic... yah... me have lots of thing to say...

first: wat friends r 4??
wat friends r for?? really i wanna to know... can any one tell me?? do i really have a friend?? i don't think so... or maybe my expectation 4 a friend is too high... isn't friends r ppl hu will be there when u need them?? ppl hu will put their shoe in ur side when u have problem to solve?? ppl hu will make ur feeling better when u r sad?? many more friends r 4... but i say til here... k... but do i have any friends hu r these?? i don't think so... when kunda in hospital, i need someone to talk to... i use msn nudge them, they don't reply... if they reply, no one understand me... no one can make my feeling better... no one will put their shoe in me... not even try to understand me... is it really difficult to do so?? i don't think so if u really treat me as friends... me have many so call friends... y r they call as so call friends?? cause i treat every one i know as friends... but do they really treat me as friends?? i have few friends hu know me 6 year le... but do they really treat me as friends?? i don't think so... whenever we go out, they have secret share amoung themself n won't ever tell me... is it so difficult to trust me?? 6 year le... whenever i see that, my heart really pain... i can really be happy when i when out with u all... but when i go home, my feeling will always be so sad... i can be infront of u all happy, but u all don't know i am sad or wat de... u all really hurt me lots... some have make me cry b4... cause i do care our friendship, but u all don't seem care 4 me... to make my life happier, i don't said u all in front of u all... i will keep these deep in my heart... okey, well maybe i have friends... but less, very less...

next let say abt my grand mum...
she still in hospital... her leg, cannot walk le... don't even can sit aready... unless operation... so old le, operation?? cannot la... even the doctor don't dare to take the risk... whenever i think of anytime will lose my grandmum, i feel very very sad... she seem look happy... but... hu know wat she is thinking... she have memory problem... she often will forget thing, will forget wat she have said, forget hu come b4 to see her, even forget wat happen to her that end up at where... i really wish she have not been sick... i really wish there is better way 4 her to live on... but its now seem so difficult... she can even sit... do u know?? if opeation is not possible... she will have to lied on the bed til the day she ended her life... do u know how sad it is?? do u know when today my father say the doctor don't dare to take the opeation, i think of many way... but still, cannot... i don't want her to lied on the bed til then... i don't dare to believe that a idiot nurse can make her life just like that... but luckily her fall from bed, nv hurt else where... but still, leg is most important... if she cannot ever walk, i still can take her on wheel chair to whereever she wants to go... but now that she cannot even sit, how am i going to do so... push a bed all over spore?? ppl will think i am crazy... but if really can, i don't mind doing that... k... thats abt it...

thirdly, kunda...
he still in hospital bar... yesterday night, again dream abt him... this time is abt the life me living with him... wow... haha... there's happyness, sadness, and many more... just like normal couple living together de problem they will face... is it fate?? haha... is will be diam nice to dream abt him everynight... but hope nothing bad come behind this dream... today read a news abt kunda n xiaozhu wanna jie bai as bro... kao... with xiaozhu?? omg... he is tat bad guy hu teaches kunda all the bad thing... k... maybe is mine thot of xiaozhu is a bad guy... but he really treat kunda very gd... as his bro like that... maybe thats y kunda wanna him to be bro... but... haiz... just feel that that idea isn't gd... haiz... hope he decides properly... hope he won't regret... hope xiaozhu treat him very gd... hope xiaozhu won't bully him... haha... hope xiaozhu won't teach him anymore thing bad... haiz... accept u as hu u r, so i will accept ur descision...

thats all bar... tomolo working night... sian... don't feel like working... whaha... but still, need to work... to earn lots of money... so that i can go taiwan by my next holiday or so... next holiday, dec 2005... but one week... next next holiday, apr 2006... one month de... see whether which one should i go... maybe the apr de, as kunda bday round there... hmmm... we shall see bar... but b4 all the fun, exam stress first... haha... haven't open sch, think alots le... haha... k... is gd thing to look n plan forward... hehe... is gd de... haha... gd night... sweet dream... miss him n him... may god bless kunda faster recover, no more pain 4 him... thx... bye...

posted by ~ ("v") SuKi aKa x|aOy| ("v")
at ~ 1:15:00 AM